I posted a work-related Facebook post last week, and a co-worker jokingly asked if there was hazard pay for having to work with me.
I wrote back that I was perfectly nice until someone was mean to me.
Then I almost finished with, “But nobody’s done that since August 1, 2022, so it’s been a good run.”
That’s when it hit me that I remember the EXACT DATE of the last time someone was mean to me. I have toted around the anger, hurt and insecurity of a comment that was made to me a year and a half ago. And I’m a little bit mystified as to how I can remember the EXACT DATE. I didn’t even have to think about it. I couldn’t tell you the last kind comment made to me (and I have amazing people in my life that are consistently kind to me), but I recall in vivid detail some putz remark from summer before last.
I was talking to someone recently about the things we do that are actually a form of idol worship, and I am now wondering if the way I hoard these negative interactions and allow them to define me and rule me is a form of idol worship.
I often forget to pray or read my Bible.
But I remember August 1, 2022.
I have a hard time committing scripture to memory.
But I remember August 1, 2022.
I constantly forget to thank God for His blessings.
But I remember August 1, 2022. And just about every other nasty thing ever said to me, dating back to my first day in kindergarten when a peer was mean to me for the first time.
I willingly lug these moments around when Jesus has invited me over and over again to lay them at the foot of the cross and leave them there.
So I embark on that journey to free myself from the negative, and anxiously await until the day I can really surrender it to Him replaces August 1, 2022.