We just added “Happy” by NF to Project 88.7!
NF gets real about hard things in his life in “Happy.” He raps about being so comfortable with the sadness and struggle in his life that he has a hard time reaching out to God for help and a hard time even imagining what it would be like to be happy. Maybe you’ve wrestled with depression, strained relationships, addiction, or something else, and that’s been your normal for so long you don’t even know how to imagine your life being different. Maybe the idea of crying out to God or reaching out to others feels overwhelming because you’re not sure how to take the first step.
What I love about this song is that NF comes to God right where he is. He just starts talking to God about his struggle and even about how challenging it was to open up to God and talk to Him about what he’s feeling and experiencing. We can do that too. We can come to God honestly. We don’t have to wait to feel better, or have our struggles figured out, or for things to get cleaned up in our lives. And when we come to God He will hear us and He will help us. When the stuff of life weighs you down, you might not be able to see a brighter future for your situation or your life, but Jesus can and He knows how to help you get there.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NLT)
Lyrics
[Verse 1]
Dear God, please
Hear me out, I know it’s been a couple years
Since I’ve reached
Out and said hello, I bet You’re wondering
Why I keep
Obsessing on and stressin’ all the little things
When I should be
Living life and soaking up the memories
I know I’ve been selfish, I have
No excuse to give You, it’s true
Hanging by a thread’s how I live
I don’t know why, but I feel more comfortable
[Chorus]
Livin’ in my agony
Watchin’ my self-esteem
Go up in flames, acting like I don’t
Care what anyone else thinks
When I know truthfully
That that’s the furthest thing from how I
Feel, but I’m too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I’m trapped in
The truth is I need help, but I just can’t imagine
Who I’d be if I was happy
[Verse 2]
Yeah, been this way so long
It feels like somethin’s off when I’m not depressed
I got some issues that I won’t address
I got some baggage I ain’t opened yet
I got some demons I should put to rest
I got some traumas that I can’t forget
I got some phone calls I been avoidin’
Some family members I don’t really connect with
Some things I said I wish I woulda not let slip
Some hurtful words that never shoulda left my lips
Some bridges burned I’m not ready to rebuild yet
Some insecurities I haven’t dealt with, yes
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a lonely soul
And the last to admit I need a hand to hold
Losin’ hope, headed down a dangerous road
Strange, I know, but I feel most at home when I’m
[Chorus]
Livin’ in my agony
Watchin’ my self-esteem
Go up in flames, acting like I don’t
Care what anyone else thinks
When I know truthfully
That that’s the furthest thing from how I
Feel, but I’m too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I’m trapped in
The truth is I need help, but I just can’t imagine
Who I’d be if I was happy
[Bridge]
Don’t know what’s around the bend
Don’t know what my future is
But I can’t keep on livin’ in—
[Chorus]
Livin’ in my agony
Watchin’ my self-esteem
Go up in flames, acting like I don’t
Care what anyone else thinks
When I know truthfully
That that’s the furthest thing from how I
Feel, but I’m too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I’m trapped in
The truth is I need help, but I just can’t imagine
Who I’d be if I was happy
[Outro]
(Oh, oh, oh)
(Oh, oh, oh) If I was happy
(Oh, oh, oh)
(Oh, oh, oh) If I was happy