I had a good day earlier this week and it terrified me. Ever been there?
You’ve become so used to things being “bad” that when “good” suddenly shows up, it feels wrong. You are glad to see it, but also you’re afraid of it. Will “good” stay? I think I want it to stay but it probably won’t. I wish it hadn’t come. It reminds me of how bad “bad” actually is.
I find myself trying to maintain a manageable level of “bad” rather than reaching for “good” that may or may not last.
This is no good.
(That was kind of a joke. Feel free to smile a bit.)
I spent time praying about this in the middle of this “good” day. I felt like God told me to go outside and look at the trees. This felt a little dumb because I was more in the mood for a “closed-eyes-stay-inside” kind of prayer but I decided to humor Him. I looked at the trees and started to walk, but again, I felt God tugging me to stay put and look.
He showed me the buds on the trees. We call it “new” life but it’s not “new” life at all. It’s old life waking up. I very distinctly felt God say to me, “Spring does not fear the winter.”
It felt a little more like Yoda than Jesus but I felt the Holy Spirit say it again. God was clearly trying to teach me something.
I can’t shove away good things or good days. I need to appreciate them like a spring day. Snow is still out there. “Bad” days are going to come. Sadness, tears, fear—all those and more are out there somewhere and they will find us but in the fear of those things, I can’t chase away the good.
This all feels a bit cliche but God doesn’t mind. He will meet us where we are to teach us what we need to know, even if He has had to tell us one hundred times. He’s always up for one hundred and one.