“Who are you?”
The question leaving my counselor’s mouth took me by surprise. I didn’t know how to answer that. Obviously, she knows my name, we’ve been meeting for almost 2 years now. I threw in the obligatory, “I’m a mother, wife…” line. She wasn’t feeling that answer. She made me walk through more specifics, and deeper conversations, and when we were done, I realized that I didn’t have an answer to that question.
Do you ever feel like that? Kinda lost and not sure who’s looking back at you in the mirror. You’re not alone, and unfortunately, I’m not even sure it’s as uncommon as we’d like to think it is.
Growing up in a Christian household, I know that my answer should be easy. “I’m a daughter of the King.” As I’ve gotten older though, that answer just doesn’t feel fulfilling enough. Not that God isn’t enough for me, but maybe I’m just not good enough for that title. Heck, I barely feel “good enough” for the title of mom and wife, yet here we are.
In my heart of hearts, I know they are lies. I know I’m good enough to be given all these titles. And yet it doesn’t feel so. And that’s where the faith like a mustard seed has to come in. I guess this is where I push to know that despite me FEELING like they’re lies, I have to KNOW that they’re TRUTH. And that’s hard work.
If you’re also feeling like this lately, you’re not alone. I see you and if you want someone to chat with about it, hit me up here. We’ll get through this together.