It’s been a crushing week emotionally. Nothing specific. Just hearing of unexpected loss. Reading lots of bitterness and ugly vitriol. Feeling hopeless in a few corners. Carrying too much weight that I should be laying down. Absorbing too many fear mongering and end of the world headlines doing exactly what they were designed to do.
You know, general life stuff that we all have to deal with as we continue to live in a messed up world.
I’ve been here before. Many times in the past 18 months, actually. I’ve learned to not park too long in this state and quickly crawl my way out of the hole. So, I cleared my schedule for a few hours, and went to McDonalds, got a sausage biscuit and a Diet Coke (the best $2 breakfast you’ll find anywhere…fight me), and proceeded to delete every news app and social media app on my phone. I turned notifications off. I blocked Google News and Twitter on my browser. Then, after effectively burying my head in the sand and preparing my future days to be full of pure, ignorant bliss, I opened my Bible and journaled on Psalm 19. For 45 minutes.
And it wasn’t the nice, spiritually clean, deep thought type of writing. No, it was the gripping the pen too hard, pages are starting to rip, griping and whining and venting and yelling type of entry.
But then, the pattern emerged and the peace came rushing in.
Psalm 19 talks about how the words on these pages are perfect in every way. They can revive our soul. They will lead us to truth. The teachings are right and will make us joyful. The commands and orders are trustworthy.
In a sense, here was the calm, the anchor, I was desperately needing in the middle of the storm.
I parked in this chapter just thanked God for putting the answer right in front of me. I don’t always reach for this answer. And really it wasn’t a specific answer, but an invitation to keep going, to keep reading and discovering.
I will in the coming days. It’s only solution I continually find for when the world rushes in like a freight train, ready to run me right over. –Kevin