“‘Vengeance is mine, and I will repay,’ says the Lord.” ~Romans 12:19
I have always been mystified by that scripture. I’ve also been under the impression that not exacting revenge on those who wronged you was a privilege that was withheld from us to try to better our character. And not that that isn’t the case, but God recently revealed to me that there’s so much more to the reason He tells us to let Him deal with our enemies.
A couple of years ago, I was treated very poorly by someone, and at first, I told myself, “This is not yours to handle. Let God fix it.” As time went on, however, I watched this person just living their best life every day, no consequence in sight, no apology forthcoming, and my anger and bitterness steadily grew. I seethed at the sight of this individual, who carried on as though they had not done me a great injustice, until I finally said, “Fine. Then I’ll fix it. I’ll make sure this person pays for their sins.”
When I put my plans into motion, things did not go as I had envisioned. I used every tactic I could think of to try to trip this person up, to try to reveal their true character to others, to try to expose the ugliness within them in such a way that they were shunned by people who once thought them to be a kind individual. But the only person it tripped up was me. I became so entangled in my scheming and so overly confident of the results I believed it would render that it made it all the more infuriating when this person walked about not only unscathed, but clearly unbothered.
One night, I ended up on the floor in tears, asking God why I found myself unable to bring justice to the situation. “They need to pay,” I sobbed. “They need to pay, and I need to be able to see it happen!”
That’s when the Lord’s gentle voice broke through: If you could make this person pay, and if you could witness the consequence of their actions, would it even really matter? Would any of that undo what has been done?
I was forced to admit, then, that no, it wouldn’t change the fact that I had been hurt. No amount of repercussion could remove the words imprinted on my mind, or the self-loathing they had caused. Nothing that could possibly be done would erase the aftermath of the indignity that had been experienced.
Furthermore, in trying to destroy the offender, I was only destroying myself.
When that realization set in, God asked, Did it ever occur to you that this is why I say that vengeance is Mine and not yours?
What I thought was a withholding of something that would bring satisfaction was actually to prevent me from spiraling downward into my own self-destruction. God was never holding out on me. He was protecting me.
When we are wronged, God sees it. When we are hurt, God feels it. And when we are persecuted by our enemies, God will address it in His time. Meanwhile, we pull ourselves together, hold our heads high, and refused to let the light He ignited inside of us be dimmed.
Walking in our purpose is its own kind of vengeance, and He’ll handle the rest.
