I recently had the opportunity to attend the largest Christian radio conference in the country, which is held every year in Orlando, Florida. Rather than a sense of excitement about it, though, I felt a looming sense of panic sprouting from my deep roots of insecurity.
Since I was very young, I have felt unseen, unliked, uncool, and generally unworthy. When I began my career in radio, I was blessed to have some talented and influential mentors. Because of that, two years into my career in Top 40, I was on air in a top ten radio market. From 2001 to 2008, I worked alongside very big names in the industry, at legendary radio stations in significant markets.
And yet, I skated under the radar the whole time. I did not build much of a professional reputation nor make much of an impact anywhere I worked. I was the very definition of unseen, and that skewed sense of professional insecurity has been my shadow ever since. When I was talking to my therapist about how I felt days before leaving, she asked me to give her one word.
“Unimportant,” I replied. She then asked for one word about how I WANTED to feel. The answer was easy. “Welcome.”
Even though I have now been in Christian radio for 12 years, I inwardly feel like the new girl sitting alone at the lunch table everyone else avoids. This industry is stacked with immense talent, legendary personalities, and incredible testimonies. It’s intimidating for someone with low self-worth to walk into.
But to say that I was mystified by how welcomed I was would be an understatement. There were handshakes and hugs, encouragement from people I don’t consider myself to be worthy of even attending a conference with, much less interacting with, and there was a beautifully crushing sense of family.
I felt OVERWHELMINGLY welcomed and immensely humbled that sharing Jesus on a radio station is part of my calling. Thank you for spending time with me here on Project. I hope you, too, feel a beautifully crushing sense of family when you come here.
Because you are.
